Why God never received tenure

  1. He had only one major publication.
  2. It was in Hebrew.
  3. It had no references.
  4. It wasn’t published in a refereed journal.
  5. Some even doubt he wrote it by himself.
  6. It may be true that he created the world, but what has he done since then?
  7. The scientific community has had a hard time replicating his results.
  8. He never applied to the ethics board for permission to use human subjects.
  9. When one experiment went awry he tried to cover it by drowning his subjects.
  10. When subjects didn’t behave as predicted, he deleted them from the sample.
  11. He rarely came to class, just told students to read the book.
  12. Some say he had his son teach the class.
  13. He expelled his first two students for learning.
  14. Although there were only 10 requirements, most of his students failed his tests.
  15. His office hours were infrequent and often held on limited access mountain tops.
  16. No record of working well with colleagues.

This list must have appeared on thousands of sites and I’ve not been able to track down the source. In fact, a search on the phrase yields over 43,000 results on Google. There are another 3,700 where it is titled “Why God never received a PhD”. If anyone knows the original source, please post a comment. (After all, this is a research site and we have to credit sources appropriately.)