Why God never received tenure

  1. He had only one major publication.
  2. It was in Hebrew.
  3. It had no references.
  4. It wasn’t pub­lished in a ref­er­eed journal.
  5. Some even doubt he wrote it by himself.
  6. It may be true that he cre­ated the world, but what has he done since then?
  7. The sci­en­tific com­mu­nity has had a hard time repli­cat­ing his results.
  8. He never applied to the ethics board for per­mis­sion to use human subjects.
  9. When one exper­i­ment went awry he tried to cover it by drown­ing his subjects.
  10. When sub­jects didn’t behave as pre­dicted, he deleted them from the sample.
  11. He rarely came to class, just told stu­dents to read the book.
  12. Some say he had his son teach the class.
  13. He expelled his first two stu­dents for learning.
  14. Although there were only 10 require­ments, most of his stu­dents failed his tests.
  15. His office hours were infre­quent and often held on lim­ited access moun­tain tops.
  16. No record of work­ing well with colleagues.

This list must have appeared on thou­sands of sites and I’ve not been able to track down the source. In fact, a search on the phrase yields over 43,000 results on Google. There are another 3,700 where it is titled “Why God never received a PhD”. If any­one knows the orig­i­nal source, please post a com­ment. (After all, this is a research site and we have to credit sources appropriately.)